i've been considered a more forward person--especially in my high school years. apparently i can come off as headstrong, scary, etc. its basically all because im relatively independent, and i dont pretend to drown in my sorrows or problems. im not some damsel in distress seeking rescue. and its a turn off apparently thats comes off in too great of a feminist light, or something.
well, i guess here's the news for me, God advocates for femininity and the placement of girls in some more traditional roles. feminism isnt necessarily the way its supposed to be. what if im supposed to submit subserviently and conduct myself with less confidence and authority, but equal poise. independence and intelligence underneath, but some innocent and vulnerable surface? proverbs 31: 13 and proverbs 31: 15 told me that.
not only this, but it convinces me of the necessity of softening. i have an opportunity to remake myself in college. i refuse to be known by the same image as i "owned" in high school. honestly, i feel like i can practice that building here at girls state. there are so many opportunities to meet new people. if there's a party, maybe getting down with others is the way to go--dance. thats one key.
ambitions--tone them down. pride--eliminate it. all i care about, at least in my facade--having a great time. all confidence, but no real desires beyond popularity, boys, and socializing. something like that.
honestly, i feel like i have to sell my soul to fit the mold.
being a girly girl is just half the fight, but its the easiest part of the fight to attempt, i would say. my first step to a nine, redoing my wardrobe for college. the first part of a new image--new clothes. if i care more, maybe it'll translate to my image and femininity or whatever. and maybe it'll translate to everything else i want to be and everything else about me.
so by rejecting the independent feminist core thats sometimes advocated with such force by "rosie the riveter" types (them strong independent women who dont need no men), i can escape my cruel cycle of perpetuated societal marooning on a segregated island. and hopefully become a more Godly young woman who can make Him proud.
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