You came to save me. and all the rest of us. and i needed and continue to need every once of salvation you grace me with.
Sunday, May 17, 2015
To Save Me
may 17, 2015
You came to save me. and all the rest of us. and i needed and continue to need every once of salvation you grace me with.
You came to save me. and all the rest of us. and i needed and continue to need every once of salvation you grace me with.
The One Thing I Know For Sure
may 16, 2015
in this i have absolute confidence. i was saved by God alone and to him I owe absolutely everything.
in this i have absolute confidence. i was saved by God alone and to him I owe absolutely everything.
Saturday, May 16, 2015
Good beyond imagination
May 15, 2015
JOHN 3:16 NIV
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Everything's at my fingertips. Your fingertips. You'll decide my fate. I can't even believe this. The beauty of 4.0 in you. You did this for me and the future is still possible.
But everything is empty still. It's painful to know. My parents drive me insane. I don't even want to see them anymore. I want to breathe in my own. And go out into the world without their yammering. But it's not like its any better out there. It still sucks. People are still the same. Uncaring. Maybe just the same as me. It's empty. But what you've done for me still exists. You've been good to me beyond my imagination's furthest reaches. Christ on the cross, a sacrifice like that already says it all. But i still feel like this. Like sh!t. It's seriously got to stop...
Friday, May 15, 2015
Dreams You've Dreamt for Me
may 14, 2015
2 samuel 7:22 NIV
“How great you are, Sovereign Lord ! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears."
There's no one like you, as powerful or great as you. No one can change my fate like you. You alone control the future for me. Well, you and partially me. Me to a degree and then you take the rest.
I dont know what the future is for me but I'm dreaming. I know you have grand plans though. Even if my plans arent your plans, one way I'll make it to the dreams youve dreamt up for me.
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Be Consumed by Faith
may 12, 2015
repay evil with good. always do good in every instance. for everything and in everything remember the Lord. be patient and do not rush. in his time, in His time, you will learn of the answer. there is a beauty in waiting that you cannot always see.
let your heart be filled and have faith. let faith consume your heart and replace the wanderlust. let it reign within you and take away worries on its wings.
let your heart be filled and have faith. let faith consume your heart and replace the wanderlust. let it reign within you and take away worries on its wings.
Crashing
on behalf of may 11, 2015
that's true. you always fix me up when things don't work out. i was so wrapped up in the whole studying thing that i neared a mental breakdown. but you catch me when i fall. you're there to help me before i crash. i don't know what i would do without you.
Sunday, May 10, 2015
A Chance
may 10, 2015
with the peace of the Lord in my heart, i can manage through this week. i can make it out all right. there is hope at the end of the tunnel..
A
may 9, 2015
it's rather exciting actually that i might be able to get an A on the final paper for spanish... now i just have to hope and pray and have faith in the grade..... that the rest of the things from this semester will be enough for me to get the A. i... i really think that it matters. and more than anything, it has taught me with this semester's struggle that i need to be more on top of my game from the absolute beginning in the future. i need to stay closer to you and the principles that you represent and ARE.
lord, there's a chance. i really think that this could work out all right. i know that in the future a B wouldn't matter. or like it could but maybe the probability is that it wouldn't. but regardless of that, it's a personal thing in the moment. like right now it does matter to me. because if i got a B, and then didn't get into sinai, i'd always thing that was the reason why. it's hard. and so i'm going to continuing working my absolute hardest to the end.
then.... i'll know if was your discretion for something else in designs for me.
for 5 more days, i need to be consumed by work. that's the only way.
lord, there's a chance. i really think that this could work out all right. i know that in the future a B wouldn't matter. or like it could but maybe the probability is that it wouldn't. but regardless of that, it's a personal thing in the moment. like right now it does matter to me. because if i got a B, and then didn't get into sinai, i'd always thing that was the reason why. it's hard. and so i'm going to continuing working my absolute hardest to the end.
then.... i'll know if was your discretion for something else in designs for me.
for 5 more days, i need to be consumed by work. that's the only way.
Friday, May 8, 2015
Ultimate Faith
may 8, 2015
it's like the answer to a long lost prayer that i thought i had yet to hear the answer of. this is.... so heartening. its 2:12 am and i've been.... focusing for the last hour or so. but today has not been quite like i would have wanted, per say. but i like chose something much more valuable. i think i found like something real. no matter what kind of fate wrecks me in the future, it seems that i can ultimately be sure of this--i know friends who are like actually there and like feel in a lot of the same ways and experience in a lot of the same ways. it's a poignant thing to realize.
i don't know or think if that is the answer. i like highly doubt that as the answer to that particular question, (of 他。男好像＝>>但是 現在我就知道誰是真的。誰是我的朋友。) there's this new reality and i think that in everything i have always been able to count on this. that kind of certainty is beautiful. the people you place in my life, God.
and over the course of this day i've come to realize more fully that i can't cover up my pain with sleep over television or other crap. i have to work through the pain and that's the only thing that could even potentially destroy the pain. make it dissipate.
i know that you love me, lord. ask and you will know, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. i ask for wisdom. for peace of mind. all the anxiety of AP season that i evaded for most of the year has suddenly thrust itself upon me in a suffocating burst. but you are greater than it. you will make it ok. whatever that may mean. i have to be able to live with your love regardless. i have to be able to recognize value in myself and life in spite of trials.
and ultimately, i have to trust.
right now, looking in, i think i can do it. i trust. i believe. it REALLY WILL COME TO A BEAUTIFUL END.
i don't know or think if that is the answer. i like highly doubt that as the answer to that particular question, (of 他。男好像＝>>但是 現在我就知道誰是真的。誰是我的朋友。) there's this new reality and i think that in everything i have always been able to count on this. that kind of certainty is beautiful. the people you place in my life, God.
and over the course of this day i've come to realize more fully that i can't cover up my pain with sleep over television or other crap. i have to work through the pain and that's the only thing that could even potentially destroy the pain. make it dissipate.
i know that you love me, lord. ask and you will know, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. i ask for wisdom. for peace of mind. all the anxiety of AP season that i evaded for most of the year has suddenly thrust itself upon me in a suffocating burst. but you are greater than it. you will make it ok. whatever that may mean. i have to be able to live with your love regardless. i have to be able to recognize value in myself and life in spite of trials.
and ultimately, i have to trust.
right now, looking in, i think i can do it. i trust. i believe. it REALLY WILL COME TO A BEAUTIFUL END.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Released Unto You
may 7, 2015
God, you were there in the beginning for me. you are here now, i just have to follow you. and in the future, you will be there for me still. there is nothing i can do to actually leave you because you love me too much to let me go like this.
you love me regardless and in your greatness and power, there is nothing to be desired. you are enough for me. as long as i can realize that i am broken and yet still enough. you can take me as i am. go to God. submit yourself to his love.
you love me regardless and in your greatness and power, there is nothing to be desired. you are enough for me. as long as i can realize that i am broken and yet still enough. you can take me as i am. go to God. submit yourself to his love.
Revive Me
on behalf of may 6, 2015
the fruit. that means as a result of one thing, another will begotten. first i must go back to you and live like you and revive the righteousness of you, God. peace? an effect of quietness and confidence forever? i couldn't imagine requiring something more.
and in not only physical illness, but an episode of mental illness--depression, i am completely at your whim. everything about me stands broken. i'm cold. i'm thirsty for your love. for your hope. for the hope only you can give. i'm not grasping at straws--i refuse to be. you are so real and. and i know that if only i can draw nearer to you and your warmth and love. under your wings, anything is possible. there is no end. my mind will be quiet and i will have confidence in you.
you are my solution, my salvation, my reason. engulf me and make me whole again.
and in not only physical illness, but an episode of mental illness--depression, i am completely at your whim. everything about me stands broken. i'm cold. i'm thirsty for your love. for your hope. for the hope only you can give. i'm not grasping at straws--i refuse to be. you are so real and. and i know that if only i can draw nearer to you and your warmth and love. under your wings, anything is possible. there is no end. my mind will be quiet and i will have confidence in you.
you are my solution, my salvation, my reason. engulf me and make me whole again.
Go Now
on behalf of may 5, 2015
knowing your power is the beginning of something beautiful. knowing you will commence the rest of my life. the rest of my life begins with first knowing you and submitting to you and your will.
have you been trying to reach me for days, weeks, almost months? i'm sure you have. you've been calling out my name and trying to bring me back. but i was stupid and didn't listen and didn't come back and kept sinking deeper and deeper in my own sin and pain. and now i'm neck deep and don't know how to just simply get out and its hard and life is hard and painful and i'm depressed and things aren't like they were before.
it's not easy. to admit i was wrong. it's not easy to fix a bad habit. since spring break i've let myself spiral out of control and it's crippling to this way of life. i have to escape the grasps of evil though. i have to get out of this and focus. you will let me do that.
you love me though. it's powerful. it's a redeeming love. there's no obstacle too great for you to overcome. jump, child. jump back into the Lord's arms. he's calling out to you and loves you and it's an amazing life-changing love. you know that. you should know that. you can let it change you and save you. go now.
have you been trying to reach me for days, weeks, almost months? i'm sure you have. you've been calling out my name and trying to bring me back. but i was stupid and didn't listen and didn't come back and kept sinking deeper and deeper in my own sin and pain. and now i'm neck deep and don't know how to just simply get out and its hard and life is hard and painful and i'm depressed and things aren't like they were before.
it's not easy. to admit i was wrong. it's not easy to fix a bad habit. since spring break i've let myself spiral out of control and it's crippling to this way of life. i have to escape the grasps of evil though. i have to get out of this and focus. you will let me do that.
you love me though. it's powerful. it's a redeeming love. there's no obstacle too great for you to overcome. jump, child. jump back into the Lord's arms. he's calling out to you and loves you and it's an amazing life-changing love. you know that. you should know that. you can let it change you and save you. go now.
Drowning
on behalf of may 4, 2015
God you're the only one who has anything worthy or worthwhile. without you i am nothing. i'm drowning. i always said that just will was needed to straighten things out but i couldn't have been more horribly wrong. i'm so lost without you. i dont know what im doing and i feel like i'm in a horrible pit where i cannot fix my situation. a lot of failure threatens to overthrow me and topple this ship. there's a lot at stake and a lot that can be lost. i could... plunge into the depths and be lost forever. i could never see the light of day in a hospital again. that would be death to any glory to your name for me. but selfishly, that would be the death of my dream. but my dream doesn't matter....you matter. your path and love matters. what if it all ended here for me.
lord, i need to go back to you in whatever way that may be. i need to know you. and lean on your understanding. not my own. because i am insufficient. this will continue to plague me as long as i look to my own strength because i have none. i am but a weak one in the shadow of your greatness. but you can make things beautiful and straight and save me from this.
honestly, before now i have never been quite so terribly lost. this is a whole new level of despair. i'm trying to reach out my hand and sink the openings of the devil. the tv goes away. it won't help. it won't do anything beneficial. i will continue drowning if i try to cover my pain with tv. it's like garbage that tries to cover the groans but can't. i only need you and your love and focus. i used to be in you. i did everything through you. it wasn't me. none of the success was mine. it wasn't my work. it was yours. i can't take any credit. i'm absolutely nothing. recognizing that and coming back to you. it has to be the saving grace of my life. my salvation. what i might possibly receive though i deserve none of it at all. and maybe your mercy will spare me death. i've gotten so terribly lost.
lord, i need to go back to you in whatever way that may be. i need to know you. and lean on your understanding. not my own. because i am insufficient. this will continue to plague me as long as i look to my own strength because i have none. i am but a weak one in the shadow of your greatness. but you can make things beautiful and straight and save me from this.
honestly, before now i have never been quite so terribly lost. this is a whole new level of despair. i'm trying to reach out my hand and sink the openings of the devil. the tv goes away. it won't help. it won't do anything beneficial. i will continue drowning if i try to cover my pain with tv. it's like garbage that tries to cover the groans but can't. i only need you and your love and focus. i used to be in you. i did everything through you. it wasn't me. none of the success was mine. it wasn't my work. it was yours. i can't take any credit. i'm absolutely nothing. recognizing that and coming back to you. it has to be the saving grace of my life. my salvation. what i might possibly receive though i deserve none of it at all. and maybe your mercy will spare me death. i've gotten so terribly lost.
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Share and Sacrifice
5-3-2015
share with others. that's loving one another in full. God is pleased by love in this manner. spread the gifts and talents you possess. that is the best way to go about it. spread also the happiness and joy. let all know from whence you receive power to do all things good.
such is love. this "sacrifice" means more than you think.
such is love. this "sacrifice" means more than you think.
Shh.
5-2-2015
if they don't say anything, then even their foolishness will be hidden.
if they don't say anything, then they hide selfishness.
if they don't say anything, then maybe they can shine better for you.
if they don't say anything, then maybe they can learn to follow in your footsteps better.
if they don't say anything, then even their foolishness will be hidden.
if they don't say anything, then they hide selfishness.
if they don't say anything, then maybe they can shine better for you.
if they don't say anything, then maybe they can learn to follow in your footsteps better.
Friday, May 1, 2015
What is Love
5-1-2015
what is love? love is patient, kind, meek but not weak, persevering, honorable, trusting, hopeful, altruistic, protective, and forgiving. love is a truth. love is for ones self and true love is for others equally. such is its nature.
Designs
4-30-2015
his designs will help to establish my path. i know that my steps can be safe because of him. in their hearts, men plan their course but the Lord establishes their steps. proverbs 16:9.
things such as this are fact. second nature to me, now.
his designs will help to establish my path. i know that my steps can be safe because of him. in their hearts, men plan their course but the Lord establishes their steps. proverbs 16:9.
things such as this are fact. second nature to me, now.
One Body
4-29-2015
bring praise to God by accepting one another.
i think that it speaks to the church and its divisions. there ought to be but one. it's a single bride to Christ. but by accepting one other into the same group.... disciples are one body. not five or six or these 20 or 30 different ones
bring praise to God by accepting one another.
i think that it speaks to the church and its divisions. there ought to be but one. it's a single bride to Christ. but by accepting one other into the same group.... disciples are one body. not five or six or these 20 or 30 different ones
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