One Heart

song of solomon 6:3
tonight i was talking with some of my other JC besties from girls state, and the path of the conversation led me to more strongly consider my own convictions and how i feel about God.  the importance of the relationship to me and how much effort i put into my faith.  it would seem to be that my relationship is comparatively strong, but theres no room for any pride in that.  no, theres only room for further development and im determined to continue growing.  i trust that if i put my entire heart into the Lord, then my spiritual growth will eventually blossom and translate into other beautiful miracles.

God's message to me is that he is mine and i am his.  for the time being, i think that honestly suffices.  i've often thought about romantic involvement and i must say that such thoughts seriously occupied my mind for the longest time.  like from sixth grade until sophomore year, my mind was thoroughly disrupted by such thoughts and frivolous fancies.  but then i changed my heart and decided there was no time for such musings.  and i would like to say that in junior year i turned towards the Father, but im not completely sure how great my transition was.  to be sure, i began to write my weekly letters but i also say with regret tha ton more than one occasion those have turned into trivial diary entries.

more meaningful, however, would be these blogs--in my opinion anyways.  and i think that transcribing the bible has been important and a marker of growth.  i must learn to be happy as a single person before any happiness can be found in a pair and thats significant.  

he browses among the lilies: i would take that to mean God is looking into my heart for the flowers which mark his impact on my life--the fruit of my relationship with him, i suppose you could say.  these, i believe to be incredibly important.  regardless of how it might seem at times.  and to be honest, the conversation i had today seriously inspired me to seek Him out with greater fervor.  in spite of others' standing, i need to keep getting closer.

well, if the meaning of the verse is that i am one with God as he seeks evidence of fruitfulness, then i need to ensure the continued bearing of fruit.  for this reason, my next crop will consist in a recommencement of my origami operations at the hospital and prayer with patients to accompany that work.  i cant wait to see what wonders He introduces to me through the lives of others who've seen and experienced true pain.  i want to learn.  and i want God to speak to me--and through me.