Life Force

11-30-2014

To the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen
1 Timothy 1:17

God is wise, merits our praise, and is the ultimate eternal immortal invisible--invincible--force of my life.

i wouldn't know what what to do without God.  he is everything for me and makes me whole.  when i saw he is my life force, i mean it because without God, i wouldnt be able to push through this night and make my practical happen tomorrow.  lord, please be with me and continue to make me a better disciple.  may the things i do and the words i say speak volumes in your name and may it glorify you.  may i be a light for you and may people be taken aback by how much of you shines through.

thanksgiving

11-28-2014

4Enter his gates with thanksgiving

and his courts with praise;

give thanks to him and praise his name.

PSALM 100:4

All power honor glory to God, amen.

i have absolutely nothing without God.  but i can give thanks to him and i could continue to do that all day long because that is how wonderful he is.  God is invincible and my strength.  he is MY God.  of all people he loves me.  for that i will be eternally grateful <3

In a Puff of Smoke

on behalf of 11-19-2014

Matthew 7:13 NIV
13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.

the wide gate leads to destruction and there are many that go through that gate on that path, but the narrow gate is the one you should aim for.

it would be so easy to just partake in the same kinds of activities as everyone else, i think.  to drink and smoke and curse like there's no tomorrow.  i mean, i don't condemn those people--nor do i have a right to do that, and i wont.

with the profanity it was more difficult before and i would be inclined to say things like "d@mn or sh!t".  here i haven't had that issue lately.  a while back i had that issue when texting some people.  but im working on it and i want it to just disappear in a puff of smoke--the way it might be inclined to do as a result of a close walk with you.

the other thing: psalm 119:11 i have hidden your word in my heart that i might not sin against you.

anyway--the other thing, i ... skipped church on occasion for rounds.  that seems like a bad idea.  and normally they do rounds early enough for me to go to church right afterwards anyways.  so i should totally be doing that....um yea.  church is important.  fellowship with other christians.  remember that, too.

and as far as drink and smokable drugs go, just dont. just dont.  keep your body clear and.... focus on him.  honestly, i kind of think you should spend more time with the hall.  C3 is clean and where it's at.  a good number of them walk with you right?--ok well some of them sorta walk with you.  man, idk.  i'm just trying to figure out how to be your disciple more clearly and how to live for you.

Commitment to Scripture

on behalf of 11-18-2014

11I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
PSALM 119:11

study the word of God and know it in your heart so that when times of need come up, you will already know his will and will be far less likely to falter.

it's important for me to continuing focusing on what you truly will for me and i need to study the word in greater depth.  and commit your word to memory.  that is a place where i am unfortunately faltering and i must admit that at this current time, i know very few verses if like any by memory.

i used to try and make an effort at that, but i haven't been and i've...been sadly neglecting and denying the importance of memorizing scripture.  but it's not something that can just be brushed aside and more than anything it's crucial due to the pressures around me to engage in certain activities, but perhaps knowing directly what you have said about staying true to you on that matter would be helpful to me in standing firm?  im not sure, persay, but i can say with absolutely certainty that following you means knowing what you have said verbatim.  maybe this is something i can work on at a week by week basis and memorizing a verse a week?  then i can gradually build my repertoire of verses.

honestly, i think it will be difficult, but not impossible, and i look forward to what i can learn from that.  i know that i will certainly need your strength to make it happen, but i think it can work if i truly commit myself to you, God.

i have hidden your word in my heart that i might not sin against you. psalm 119:11

"" quoted by memory. working on it.

In Keeping

on behalf of 11-17-2014

13Now all has been heard;

here is the conclusion of the matter:

Fear God and keep his commandments,

for this is the duty of all mankind.

Ecclesiastes 12:13

this is the fact of the matter--respect the power of God and keep his laws--that is what we are supposed to do.  now that everything is out there and you have so much more background knowledge of your duty to man and have a basic understanding of things.

i totally fell behind >:| and maybe i should know my commandments better, actually..... like. yeah.

anyways though.  in keeping with his commandments i dont think i should be doing certain things.  drinking really isn't what i want to do.  i had said before that i wouldn't and that i didn't want to.  i still don't really think it's my thing and it kind of makes me uncomfortable with myself but i don't have a problem, really, with other people drinking. i dont know.  i just want to maintain my body for Christ, and my speech.  everything about me, i am hoping resounds for christ, but i dont feel like that can happen easily with this group.

i think what she said was right.  when you're living for God, everything sinful dies on its own because of that heart for the Lord.  and it becomes easy.  requires no thought and its like automatic.  that's how i want it to be and i have a passion for that kind of wholesomeness.  with Him on your side, you can do it.

heart knowledge

on behalf 11-15-2014

You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. (Psalm 16:11 NIV)

god shows me the path of life and brings me joy, by being there alone I smile, he is the source of eternity.

I need to from here on out keep an intense watch on my blood alcohol level--thats something that I'm now... going to have to never let get out of hand considering I've had a little bit to drink. it could easily get out of control and so I'm just extra cautious in my thinking. I wanna drink at the next flinn party, but tbh beside that I don't want to. not in Chicago. it's a bad place and time for that.

I swear I know how to have fun. promise. my favorite things to do though and my free time gets devoted to the hospital and I LOVE IT.  those are my earthly pressures. those times. I can only imagine what God might have in store for me above(:

work

11-16-2014

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20, 21 NIV)

praise to God who is more powerful thatn we could possibly imagine and who lives on forever and ever.

he is incredible and more than the constraints of our limited imagination. we have nothing to fear of and even when we are in supplication for his assistance he exceeds hopes. he is.

there is nothing to be fearful of with God on my side. I'm so grateful to him for my peace of mind and ability to, with his strength, prioritize him. and to prioritize other necessary things in my life. he knows me inside and out. even though other people don't rly understand why I love the hospital so much and spend so much time there, God knows.

most importantly perhaps is that he works on us and in us. I must allow him to do that and guide me in everything. guide me towards him and to be close to him regardless of alcohol. I shall necessarily be careful because I must maintain my purity for God and not only in terms of my heart for him but physically and mentally in the direction of my life as I strive to glorify him. work in me.

martyrdom: kill my hypocrisy

11-14-2014

I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live."

(John 11:25)

god is resurrection and life. through him I have everything and through him is life despite death. 

i can't help but think of my own stupid hypocrisy. I say I want to be a martyr for Christ but even praying in front of other people is awkward to me. that's wrong. so that's what I'm going to move towards today. NOT being awk and just praying because im not ashamed of you. and my actions should show it!!

Don't Fall

11-13-2014

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. (James 1:13, 14 NIV)

God does not tempt any, but each person is enticed away by their own evil desire and by evil himself. But God does not associate with evil and acts out of only holy justice.

don't blame god for anything that trips you up and remind yourself to ask him to remove that which might cause you to trip. not only that but be sure to not cause the stumbling of others. if another person seems susceptible to something which you are impervious. still be gracious on behalf of the other person and help them struggle through it. be there for your brothers and sisters in Christ.  and never forget that you are all crucial components of the body and no brother or sister is greater than the next.  have no arrogance and instead be loving and uplifting as he would be towards you.

Great Awe

11-12-2014

Yours, Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, Lord, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all. (1 Chronicles 29:11 NIV)

God is the greatest and to him belongs all power honor and glory. the heavens and earth belong to him and he reigns.

in consideration of God, who his essence is. pure and good I'm so inadequate and fall so short but at the same time he loves me!? and wants a relationship with me?!! it's mind blowing and I can only help but remain in awe of him.

daily--and exalt the one who made it al

A Fountain of Joy

11-11-2014

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. (1 Peter 1:8, 9 NIV)

even though I cannot see God with my eyes, I have faith in his existence and power and am at peace because of it. there is a joy inexpressible associated with love for him, and I want that. and I want to share it. I'm not certain that I've been able to acquire it for myself, but my desire for it is insatiable.  the source of that joy is Christ himself and the remarkable love he has for us astounds me.  the joy comes from salvation in God for our souls.

daily prayer is necessary. constantly thinking of him, crucial. I want to know God and...to encounter him would be mind-blowing but I don't... want to necessarily experience God before others...? is there a way to believe and have faith and no shame but... not express myself or be violently expressed through on front of other people? maybe I don't know what I'm saying and maybe I'm wrong...

but as I pursue you in the different ways that I know how. there's got to be a next step to grow me in you and our relationship to deepen.  I know that you want to know me--as much, and honestly probably more than, I want to know you.

stir my heart for you and may I glorify you with my person and actions--not just as a going-through-the-motions kind of Christian. I'm..... seriously going to work on language.

A Life for Him

10-10-2014~

For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. (1 Peter 2:15, 16 NIV)

by doing good, you should blow people away and those who are foolish without a regard for His will, they will be silenced--embarrassed regarding their own foolishness. do not live just as the good and free putting evil to shame, but rather, live as Gods slaves and actively proclaim his name--slavery for his name is not slavery at all, but actual  salvation. chained to perfection all things good and holiness? yes please.

when living for god it should be utterly and completely obvious that he is the one for which you are doing all things and being.  don't cover up the evil but use goodness to reveal the evil and show the world what's really up. to be a bright light shining out--one that can't be hidden by darkness.

be an open Christian. don't hide who you are. show it openly in the things you say and do. be courageous and proclaim it without shame.

pray in front of others without hesitation.

Every

on behalf of 10-9-2014

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. (Colossians 4:2 NIV)

pray everyday whenever in a waking moment. dedicate yourself to remembering the needs of others and to asking the lord to watch over and protect you. he'll do it anyways, but prayer is so necessary.  be aware of the greatness of God, and also be thankful.

I for one should remember to pray when I wake up and when I go to sleep.  the point is to make prayer a constant daily habit.  at every free second to talk to god about what's going on and let him have my whole person.  I am working on this.

apart from darkness

11-8-2014

John 1:5 NIV
5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

good reveals itself most where all around only evil is to be found, but the darkness does not block out the good or stifle it.

God is the light and brightens us also.  as the greatest of the lights, he transferred the flame to us while maintaining his own fierce light but proliferating brightness to the nations.  with that, the darkness can do naught but hide.

in standing apart from the darkness, i cannot be light without eliminating all darkness and in the same way darkness cannot be so without a complete absence of light.

i will be a light though.  i will work to grow into you and for your Glory. 

Interceding

11-7-2014

For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all people. This has now been witnessed to at the proper time. (1 Timothy 2:5, 6 NIV)

there is just one God and Christ Jesus who died on the cross for our sins and this something that we now have witnessed in flesh and reading and by witnesses to Christs essence. there's only one way to god and Christ is a necessary in between because of my humanity and tragic sinfulness. 

I am not to worship things other than go for let anything else become an idol in my life. I'm committed to Christ forever and always and I wish to please him and for others to know where I stand with god.

one thing is that things only happen by Gods planning. I can help but imagine that tonight--archery tag, pinkberry, the cellar, fries, quesadillas, karaoke singalongs, fireflies, walking back to arbol in the cold but sweater availability, wow. what a plan. 

listening

11-6-2014

Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding. (Proverbs 15:31, 32 NIV)

if I listen to the advice of those who know better, then I am going to be more do among people with an awareness for good life decisions--ones which would most likely keep us protected while simultaneously glorifying god.  but whoever ignores good advice will fall and blunder and be frustrated and upset at him or herself as a result of it. faltering and then correcting the error however will result in an acquisition of knowledge and understanding. an improvement.

what does that mean for me? keep your ears peeled for Gods directions. especially any that indicate a need for me to change and correct myself.  what is he saying..... one thing might be--just letting go of unnatural mentorships. I think you should ask Matt on that one and see what he thinks.

A Living Sacrifice

on behalf of 11-5-2014

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. (Romans 12:1 NIV)

A note to Christians: offer up yourselves to God as a sacrifice, may his will guide your life and actions and may you obey him--bringing him glory through your life and with your life itself serving as a form of worship.

this seems incredibly unclear to me with regards to what particular actions are deemed glorifying, but at this time, I feel that I'm aware enough of God and what life for him looks like in the flesh to be comfortable with what my directions are if you will.

I will give you the entire project--the endeavor to stamp out homelessness. it's yours. my relationships with professors?  yours. I'll let it happen naturally? at your prompting I might work on particular ones.

do well in a class. make conversation with them about who knows what. leave the rest up to you for casual discussion of life.

but mostly it just all comes down to trusting you and giving up my life to you. and I think that's a bit harder in practice than thought, but still, I can do it. because of you, anything is possible.

please, speak.

on behalf of 11-4-2014

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. (Galatians 1:10 NIV)

instead of pleasing those around me, I ought to please God alone and serve him. for him only. I myself told my sister that she should seek to glorify god in her life as her ultimate career goal and it would be hypocritical to fail to follow that myself.

god . you have timing of your own but how do I integrate myself into that? especially where hes concerned. do _i_ take that extra step and get to know him? I have a semester and a half.... direction?! which pleases you, lord? 

speak, I'm listening.

Love Preceding

11-3-2014

Luke 4:18 NIV
18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free,

It is my job as a Christian to share the good news with those who don't know him and I am his messenger to explain the freedom they have from sin now in light of christ's salvation.  the blind--who've ever made any mistake--dont have to remain so.  the chains of sin can fall.

i want to know others with the same love for you as me.  i want to know those who love you more than me.  who are my age and love you more than me.  someone who i can grow with, grow alongside.  i'm so happily surprised by this possibility.  thrilled, really.  i don't know whether this is something worth pursuing or what you have in mind for me, but i've never ever in my life heard of something so beautiful.  his love for you precedes him.  thats his reputation.  what a wonderful one to have.  it makes my heart leap(:

because what if there really is someone who wants to share the good news?  a young man after your own heart?  who would want to go out in the world and--we could potentially pursue you together?  wow.  i'm ecstatic.  what do you want for me, God?  i'm leaving these chains behind.  i'm coming up out of the valley of the shadow of death.  i fear no evil.  You are my strong castle and power.  i'm ready for anything as i walk alongside you.

i worked hard today, and i will work hard tomorrow.  i will focus on you and continually pursue you daily.  a relationship with you.  a true desire for you.  living intentionally.  wow.

Make me yours

11-2-2014

The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare.

PSALM 25:14-15

God shares his plans with those who fear and recognize who he really is, what he is capable, what it truly means to be a child of God--he makes his promise known to them and they can take comfort in that knowledge and in the safety of his wings.  My eyes are on the Lord, and I follow him closely, doing my absolute best to live according to his ways and I know that only he can free me from the traps of sin.  He is the only one for me.  Only God is capable of salvation for my life.

I'm working on a stronger relationship with God.  He confides in those who fear him?  Well, I ought to be confiding in the Lord more often, myself.  I ought to share with him my innermost secrets and desires and my thoughts and dreams and then I will grow in him.  That's the ultimate goal anyway.  Right now, I'm in a process of reformation.  I had fallen off and let this relationship go to the wayside, but no more.

God, you are important to me and I need to start living more like it.  I have to redevelop this ultimately incredible joy for fellowshipping with you and for sharing my life with you!  Please help me to want you the way I wanted you before.  Don't let me grow soft and complacent.  Make my desire burn for you and thirst.  Don't let me be satisfied with this mediocrity of life and these mistakes.  Make me yours and may I chase after you once again.

God is.

on behalf of 11-1-2014

18The Lord is near to all who call on him,

to all who call on him in truth.

19He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;

he hears their cry and saves them.

God is near those that ask him to help them live like him and he is there for those who fear him in the sense of fear as respect and awe for his power and understanding regarding his greatness. for those in need of his help, who cry out to him, he goes to their aid and rescues them. he doesn't necessarily prevent them from being touched as a shield, but he does play a role to a degree of blocking that obstacle or at the very least assisting in the overcoming of that obstacle.

so what does that mean for me? i ought to call him at all times of day. before and after sleep. when im in a relaxed time.  when im stressed out.  God is there for all times and for that i am so eternally grateful.  i will work in his time and at a reasonable rate.

I am

10-31-2014

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12 NIV)

Christ said I am good in a world of evil and whoever follows my way will not be as everyone else is darkness but will have light in their life. 

follow wholeheartedly and not half in darkness.  thank you to god for every blessing and the most wonderful people that I've had the privilege of knowing. and meeting. I'm so incredibly blessed to be me(: 

place God first and in your heart and don't turn left or right. be steadfast and genuine and completely his. I have nothing to give but a smile of total joy and happiness.