Pieces

4-22-2015

through the past maybe we can have hope.  through my own past i know better than to question how things will go, because somehow everything is always ok.  i know of instances in which results have been less than 100% ideal, but the final final result that really actually did matter was ok.  why should i suspect any different in this case?  i absolutely shouldnt.  i ought to have complete faith.  and thats what i tell myself.  that neuro and chemistry and spanish 449 will all end well.  if its not good its not over?

i ... it would appear to be as though youve made my intended path perfectly clear by the sheer number of open doors.  i couldnt imagine it being any other way.  as other nerve-racking chapters approach me, i can only let it slide off.  because you keep me safe.

encouragement is an interesting thing.  two people can say the same thing and it can mean a lot of different things depending on who said it.  when you say it will be ok, i know that its true.  i can be guaranteed of it.  and yet in my mental and emotional state, things are only assuaged in degrees.  and i dont think i have a person.  my own person.

i feel like.... whenever someone needs me to be there for them, i really really do try to be there.  if someone reaches out to me, im there.  sometimes im there when they dont ask.  but i dont get that a lot.  people who ask.  theres one person who does and i think she really cares as a friend.  she may just be asking casually at first but she does listen and actually cares.  thats what i mean though, sometimes the people you expect least are there most.  thats the case with her. 18-1-13. and thats true in his case too. 2-1-9-12-5-25.  they might never intend the entire story, its hard to say for sure, but when i give it theyre there.  i like to think that when im needed im there too.  im working on it.

but thats the thing.  there can be hope because youre real and move mountains.  and if youve opened the gates of heaven, whos to say that you wont also move mountains.  thats how great your love is for me.  thats how powerful your designs are on my future and everyone elses future.  its all laid out for you to fill in the pieces.