2:42 With Hope

4-7-2015

maybe facing my emotions is the best way to deal with this monster becaus ei wouldn't be able oto deal with it any other way.  i can't and wouldn't have been able to let it last forever.  there was no way that i way going to continue feeling in that misery and self-loathing and depressing stupor of woe.  if nothing else, i had an obligation to get out of it as your child.  and i'm glad that i have found some higher calling.  and i have found a real person in the midst of the falsified two faced men and women who only care about themselves.  i hope that i'm not like that.  i strive not to be. but i must be more conscious of myself and ensure that i'm not.  i absolutely cannot fall to that kind of pattern where i seek only to speak of "my" achievements as if they were really my own.  oh no.  i must not do that.  other people matter and when i listen, i ought to listen completely.  when i allow my heart to explode and speak its mind, i only hope that i give others a chance to do the same whenever they wish or require it.  because this is the reality of love.  when two can do this, you are there.

and in this verse, i find something spectacular.  in this passage.  devoting themselves is a reference to a complete commitment.  it wasn't half way.  but all the way.  and they fellowshipped with one another in love and support.  not only this but they ate together and prayed together.  you don't call us to do this alone, but rather, to share in the fight for your kingdom and the journey.  all the believers were  together and everything they had in common.  i'm just like the next believer and there is no better or worse.  there are different talents to be sure, but in the end, the love is the same--should be the same.  there is much growth for me to gain from others and i'm seeing a few more examples of your goodness around me.  it's quite lovely, actually(:

it's with a lighter heart that i go into the next day now.  because i know that there's even a fraction more hope in the world. and i have hope in my own ability to near you so long as i draw on you for the strength to make that happen. through you, nothing is impossible.