compelling circumstances

12-16-2014

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Hebrews 11:6 

 

i have to have faith in order to please God and that is the mindset that i must certainly go into this trip to peru with.  otherwise, there will be absolutely no point in being here today.  or for the next three weeks.  Lord, i give up the entire trip to you.  i just pray for my own willingness to take a leap of faith with your will in mind and to be confident in your desire to bring good out of this work.  may i continually focus my eyes on you throughout this journey as i seek to discover what path is that which you have designed specfically for me. 

first, i must believe that you exist.  second, i must believe that you will bless me for wholeheartedly seeking out your will.  i have faith in both of those things, but most of all, i believe that you have especially designed for me to bring you glory in medicine to underserved communities.

today, im no longer so certain of international medicine as your will for me.  but maybe that's just because i'm scared and for no other reason.  because leaving home is frightening, to be sure.  but i know that you will guard me and help me to see what is real.  and if i am called back home, i will know why.  not immediately, of course, but you know--like at the end of the three weeks.

at the same time though, i hope that its... not the case?  i want to learn to trust in you, and honestly, at this time i can see so clearly that this is probably the most clear ways to compel that kind of faith.  when You're the only one there who i can trust and depend on, things change.  the faith comes naturally.  it's out of necessity, but i wish it was because i was a better disciple.  regardless, post-peru, i have a feeling that i'll have learned faith and be able to turn it on even when i dont have quite so great a degree of desperation.  and that's better.

so for the next three weeks, and then forever more, ill believe more strongly than ever before, because that's how to really bring a smile to you for the work being done.  it has to be with pure intentions.  it has to be with you in mind.  

i'm all yours, Lord.