i've been really terrible at this.
like absolute crap. a lot of things are starting to unravel, and i don't like it. i feel like the distance is growing, and its killing me. it makes me hurt. i don't know what's happening in my life. i feel like i'm losing track of everything that's happening.
i find that rather unacceptable. i feel like everything is lost. it's not necessarily that i have personally lost control because you are supposed to be the one in control all along anyways. i think its more like i have tried to take too much control but i dont know what to do with it all and then things just end up being all over the place in chaos because i'm not allowing for you to do what you usually do and work the magic that is your glory.
alone, i am nothing, but with you i can be anything you want me to be.
i need to be better about this and pay attention. i need to make progress in my relationship with you. relationships without building wither. i know i can always come back to you, but that's not what it's supposed to be like. it's supposed to be continually blossoming and maybe there will be rough patches, but if i let go, then i just lose. i lose everything and all the progress. and that can't be it.
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